the value of a bug

i had an incredible day at burton dassett recently. rolling hills, silence, and then a thunderstorm that night that shook the floorboards. nature is powerful, but it is the fragile stuff that gets to me.

i could never kill a spider. people think i am a wuss for it, but i believe there is a balance between knowing what deserves force and what does not. having a sensitive heart does not mean you cannot rise to the occasion when it truly matters. i genuinely feel bad for bugs. every piece of life has value. i still think about a kid who stomped on a ladybug when i was in primary school.

if you cannot handle the smallest life with care, how do you handle the big things? it sounds stupid when i say it out loud, but i really think about that ladybug all the time. it was a completely harmless thing, just existing, and it was destroyed for no reason other than someone else being bored or cruel. that felt like the start of my understanding that the world is inherently unkind if you do not guard your own softness.

you have to be the person who chooses to step around the spider instead of crushing it, even if everyone else thinks you are weak for doing it. that kind of restraint is its own kind of strength.